late blog!!! sowey!

Hey Readers,
Im Sorry to take ages to update my blog. Why took me such a long time to update? Well, Im very tired these days after coming back from work. Secondly, Im facing some internet connection failer. The line here always drop and its hard for me to load a page which take me hours. Thirdly, I will forget cos I was busying playing with neighbour kids. Neighbour Kids?? You heard that? Kids. Hahaha..i like kids. Once I played with them,surely I will forget things that I need to do.

When I count back the months after leaving capital town, my tears start to drop. I miss the laughter and fellowship. I miss the people over there. As I think back,my anger came back. I don’t know why as I thought that I’ve forgiven them but the things still inside me. I wish the thing wont bother me but it happen again in my office. How long shall I keep it. You like it if I keep on poyring out tears..? I’ve trying to chill up with life but the burden its on me. I know I tell it out loud but its always in me.

Don’t judged it look by its cover. Just like me. Don’t see me im a happy-go-lucky and smile always. I might be nice but hurt its in me. I try to let it go buy going to Lake with new friends. “hilang stress” konon lah..!

Im planning to come down to KL but my job wont allow me too. I have 3 project to be done. First, Mooncake festival decoration. Second, Raya Hamper Corner decoration. Last, Merdeka Hanging mobile display. Now Im the only person who is doing alone. Wish me he best, pals..! Currently run of budget too. Im having stress as my sister insisted me to but insurance. I don’t have enough to support myself using monthly salary,how can I buy that? I know its important to get on but its not a time yet. This thingy it’s a monthly commitment.

Sorry If I dint attend church for pass few months. I will go when time is right. I love try new things. I’ve try doing few things when I was in Kulim. I drank beer/alcohol once. Soon going to disco. Dress up like Gothic. I know it is wrong but never wrong of being trying once. I’ve smoked when I was 5. but now,I don’t. I just want to try. I think I’ve gone naughty and wild…hahaha..forget about it. Just mind our own business lah!!


Kkk, I hate to write lots of words…! Just ignored my grammar and spelling mistake. Im not perfect.

Bye!!

Back..!

hey,
im sorry for been late to post up things. Basically im working then the Idoit Internet connection peace me off..! So,i try to fix my time accordingly which i failed. I will try to post up things soon. I will post more about Mothers day and my KL trip..!

Stay tune ya..!

After leaving KL

Dear me,

I know its kind of long didn’t blog. Many things happen after I came back from KL. I’ve done my Sem4’s exam on end of February. Then im preparing to transfer all my rubbish back to my sister’s house. I collected 4 boxes and 2 bags of my 12 years stay in KL. I found a transporter to carry my things back. All cost about 66 bucks. Oh God, I run out of cash now..

Oh..its gonna be my last of staying in KL. Hehe..not actually last cos I might be coming.. im really miss KL. Folks, do you miss me? Well, some may miss me but some not. I understand. In relationship, there will be a some kind of “Missing”thingy..

When I was in the bus heading to Kulim, I wanted to cry cos its quite heavy for me to leave a busy town. I started to miss Mc Donalds which I can get easily in KL but not in Kulim. I think Kulim abit “ULU”. No cinema, No McD…

Actually its quite nice to stay too cos too relaxing which make me lazy too. Im starting to find work. My first Interview at Genting,FAILED! Well, maybe God want me to work there. I gonna try few works at Penang. If can, I want jobs like designing, doing baby thingy, hotel, or anything that speak less mandarin..hahaha

Arrrgggkkk…why I feel so strange of myself. I’ve lost Esther in me. What happen to Esther who use to be noisy, the who how always jokes, the one who always smile and the one who always friendly? I miss Esther. Esther, please come back. I miss you, really really miss you.

Come back!!!

its Done.

Dear me,

all the pleasure & sweats is all paid in full. Thanks to those who actually encourage me to finish it. Without them,i guess im a failure in my studies. I remember Jacq kinda harsh at me and wants me to finish it. Dont even let me have a peep at Mulan show. hahaha..thanks all.. Now i can really enjoy!!

but not fully enjoy cos my real life going to begin. Going to make choices between working and study. I found out college dy. Its in Han Chiang College at Freeschool Road. Working? still hunting for it. I will try to look for a job at Nuffnang or some internship jobs to get experiences..if not,gonna work as a cashier somewhere in shopping complex.. but im still making decision.

Well,at first when i came down to KL. I start to miss my home. I think too lonely. I wont adapt the new place where i stay. I stayed at Methodist Centre for Women & children's hostel. so,they located my room near busy highways to Genting & Gombak..its was my mistake cos i didnt choose the room properly. Its was very noisy cos the sound of the car banging on the yellow bars. It was sleepless nites but now im use to it.

Thanks to those who make my birthday as a suprise. Love you guys alot..! I know its fun when you played / dress me up.. its was super duper fun. and thanks for all you time. Jacq & Adeline, thanks for accompany me during the weekends. Love you both heaps. Dawn, thanks for the time, your house & your internet. its was lovely being with you. I hope i can spend more time but life its not a road of rosses. but i promise i will drop by to visit you all again.

Well,my time in KL almost up. I going back to Kulim this Wednesday. things has planned up. Next weekend going for undang test. Taking up driving license so that next time i can drive you guys around when you come up. Then my college intake will be on April.. hopefully i can i can transfer to the last 2 semester which cost me rm5k++..if not,gonna pay rm7k+. Im taking loan from PTPTN. then mayb ask extra cos wanna get a DSLR camera. not sure yet but i will try.

Ok folks,wait for my next post. if i post,maybe i will be in Kulim.

here some picture when im in KL.

Life's Journey...

Dear me,

After leaving KL its hard for me but im not belongs to where i use to belongs to. Just like the Lyrics wrote in Chris Daughtry's song HOME. -> I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong.. I found out that i do not belongs here. My heart has set on my homeland. I begins to like my homeland & family. But i still like my KL friends & family too. I will never forget the moment together. Once a while i will be back to visit them.

Ok, i dont know what to write but i will try to update my blog frequently. Cos i just install Streamyx in my house in Kulim..yeah!!!

Stay tune for more..!!

,,,the journey has just began...

Dear me,

I know it tough for me to leave KL but i know i can make a change. It just the matter of heart and actions. As i look back,i have many blessing that God never fails to provide. For example, CARE. who else can i receive? Both my parent just leave. But God always open ROADS for me. He brings people to care and love me.

Well, yesterday(23/1) is my last day of staying in Sunbeams. Its hard for me to leave but this is the best solution to make things cool down. I'm gonna miss those little ones like Eric, Kevin, Grace, Riezla, Katty, Pauline, Jason and etc.. Ofcos not forgetting all the older ones cos we have been the road together, serve together,eat together,sleep together and fellowship together. Im treasuring those time we had. I'm gonna miss it for now.

Im gonna post "on the journey back to Penang" in another post cos this post i want to share my feeling....

I want to Thank God for the opportunity he gave me while im KL. I've learn many things there. I leaned to fellowship with God and people. If i never came to KL,i wouldn't know God. Thank God the change I am now. If i done wrong,im taking it as learning. There is nothing to loose if i try. Just learn from it,and dont repeat it.

I want to Thank those who sms/msg me when i leave:-

+ Jacqueline
+ Ps Rachel
+ Sis. Lily
+ Rachel Raj
+ Emily Indra
+ Christina
+ Peter W
+ Micheal Tan
+ Micheal Lean
+ Mariessa
+ Brendan lee
+ Rima Nadiya
+ Lydia B
+ Rebecca
+ Shannon
+ Joey
+ Nicole Siti
+ Jessica BS
+ Doreen Yeo
+ Jayne Lau
+ Aunty Helen
+ Aunty Dorothy
+ Aunty Fong Jie
+ Aunty Mimi
+ Sis Ruth P
+ some of the Kids...
+ more....

All of them, when they send,i feel like crying. Yesterday i was in Jusco, recieve a sms from PR..i was so touch til cry in the mall. So ashamed..! but i still can control..

I want to thank those who bless me cash. Im gonna use this cash to inves a DSLR cam..then i can be pro like Daniel Tai..hehehe..im over take him dy!!!

Ok, I guess need to stop here. I will posr again...


look for more...! Stay tune!

Tough Decision - pt2

Dear me,

Things are getting tougher and tougher. I believed this is the best solution for both parties. I've been crying none stop since that day. I wish there is a change but it seem the best for me to move on. ESTHER, STAY STRONG!! i will promise i will do the best and I WILL come back. I've forgiven you. Whatever you've said,i take it as a encouragement and advices. I will live on and i will make a change. Im trying to fight this feeling but seem to be fail but i know its a temporary.

Im planing to work in Singapore and im waiting for the result. I hope i can work,Im serious about it. I want to live independent. I want to learn to cope with life. I want to experience life. I want to know how hard life is so that i can tell my children one day.

Im leaving this Friday and wont be coming back. I hope i can come back some day. I believe i can come back..

I want to take this oppocunity to THANK all who have involve in my life. Making my life meaningful. Its a sweet memory for me. Im gonna miss you all heaps. Dont forget,we can contact in Facebook or sms or calls or emails. To the Pastors of Putera Aman Assembly, thanks for accepting me and allowing me to serve. I will post up a dedication once day.

Currently,im in a CRYING mood...



stay tune for more!!!

Tough Decision.

Dear me,

I know i've been a tough time now and i want the best solution. I want to make a different and im making it but no body seem to see it. People say " the truth will set you free". but i dont think so cos i've lost trust to people. How am i gonna gain back? but its too late now. I know i did many wrong things but im changing. Just that you didnt see but little thing happen to me,then you said i never change. You know my passed, and i try my very best to change. You know i steal when i was younger but now i stop. I NEVER have the intense to steal. If i wanna get something, i make i have cash to get if not i will borrow from friends. And im proun to say that i DIDNT owe any of them money. I do save money to get my own things. I try to get as cheap as possible. I get my shirt from the home. I buy jean once a year. most of the things i got from people.

Its ok. I did all the wrong things. If talk about God's business, I never give a damn. Stealing is SIN. leading people to slay is a SIN too. I try not to cover things for people. If you ask me, I say yes. If i dont see, i will say no. I know which site is good and bad cos i went tru once. If you say im a hypocrite. erm..let me see. Let me talk some other time. I promise.

I cant sleep for pass few days but im trying to relax my mind. I cant eat but im trying to eat. I loosing weight but people didnt see it. Its ok,Im fine with it. Its the first time that i can sit on the bed one whole day to think about my pass and my future. Im tying my best to do my decision after CNY. God,help me to make a good decision.


If decision said i must go out,then i accept it. And i promise i will make a different and come back with a success. I will pursue my dream and work it hard. When i come back,i will look different, more feminine, and Fearing God' people. I will help back the home cos its one of my dream. You will never know my dream that kept in my head for a long time. I gonna work it out cos ever time i say things, i never do. For this time,my age is going up and up,im really need to work somethings out for my life. I cant depend on people anymore. I must be Independence.


GOD, please help me to be more mature and focus on You.



to be continue...

Child Abuse.

hey,

Today i read The Star newspaper & Malay Mail. What comes to my surprise is a photo of a 4 years old boy who dead being bused my his mother's boyfriend. As i read the new paper, I feel very sad cos its cause a life of an innocent boy. This happen in Jalan Kok Doh in Segambut. to read the full news, click Malay Mail and The Star.

This is the boy, Iswaran Ravidran, 4

I feel this man has no human feeling. How can he abuse such a small boy. It is learnt there were bruises on the boy's body and strangle marks on his neck. He(the man) did to the boy just like a animal. If animal,it has feeling too. I know how the boy feel cos im being into the situation once. but not until they strangle me. They just wack me. But the way, I free from the abusing thingy cos God put me into a better place where i can receive Love & Shelter.

I pray that all these case will cease one day cos Children are the gift from Heaven and its a blessing. And all the abuse will cease and they will provide care, shelter & Education to their children. I can cop with the abusing thingy happen every time cos you ruin your parenting life and not responsible for your children. If you dont want to be responsible, then you dont need to give birth. Once you decided to have a child,then be responsible for it. God gave the duty, and you do it. God didnt ask you to abuse but to Love them.


Ok, I need to be careful of what i blog and said. Im just concern about things happening around our community. it brings bad influence to our neighbor and country. Finally, I pray for Peace.

a Day on SUNDAY!

Dear darling everyone,

Sunday always my favorite day cos I can skip serve God and meet friends. I woke up around 7.50am to get ready to church. In my mind,the first thing i wanna do is eat Chinese food behind my church. Oh God,forgive me as I suppose to think of YOU but i think of food. Btw, I ate Wan Tan soup. which cost me Rm3.80 with Hot Nescafe RM1.50. It cost me in total of Rm 5.30. Then i went up to the church. Guess what i saw..? I saw Mr. Victor & Family & Friends from Bogor, Indonesia. They came from Singapore. They stay there 10days and gonna stay in Malaysia for 3 days. Their plan now is to go Sunway Lagoon. I was i can bring them but I cant drive and im grounded.

In the sanctuary, Im handling Multimedia cos Daniel H needs to go back. PC crashed for 3 times. 1 during worship, 1 during announcement and 1 after service. This PC need to see doctor and needs to upgrade. If i have the money,i would buy new PC for church. After, I found out that my Cell Leader, Venice met into an accident. This are her car being hit by a van who drove fast from the opposite side.

Front View

Side Viewcloser View.

God, Please send lots of angels to protect us. No harm and danger. In Jesus' name, Amen!

I cooked today!! ala, just vege only. Last night i cook Nasi Goreng Kampung & Nasi Goreng Tomyam..! yummy!! I wish to cook again..!! stay tune!!

Cough cough cough

* Coughing more that 8 days*

I've been coughing blood for more than 8 days..! ehem..! My coughing started after Christmas. Eventually during Christmas, i guess !! I cant really enjoy cold drinks which i loved the most but i have to stop my cold drink at the moment. Maybe its my hobby to bit ice..huh?? Hobby? hahaha.. im a cold blooded who needs cold. just kidding. what i wish for right now is to heal. My lungs are coming out.. God, I promise not to take ice at night. but i will take during the day. I need healing. My Cough comes twice a year. June & December.

*wondering*

Well, I was wonder what is my resolutions for 2009? Ok, I try to list down my resolutions.

1) To excel in studies.
2) To Focus on myself.
3) To put my priority.
4) To serve God & community.
5) To practice what i've learn.
6) To improve my skill in Photography.
7) To invest DSLR camere. (NIKON)
8) To do daily Devotion in the morning.
9) To spend time with love ones.
10) To improve my English.
11) To change my bad habbits.
12) To continue my relationship with God & people.
13) to reduce the size of self (im fat.. +___+ )
14) To speak boldly.
15) To be serious about my future.
16) To know that im talented.
17) To appreciate things that is given to me.
18) To practice my guitar.
19) To invest my saving.
20) To pursue my passion ( Photography)
21) To work part-time when im free.
22) To help in Sunbeams*.
23) To help in the ministry of God.
24) To think before i say or do.
25) To continue my blogging life after i stop for years. (former blog )
26) To improve my design
27) To meet my deadline seriously
28) To be more creative in design


and the list goes on....

Basically, my resolution base on self improvement. This year,im making it seriously about myself. Whoever knows me,please keep me in your prayer that i want meet my resolution this. If i make mistakes,do tell me so that i can improve myself.

Im gonna trust God that i can meet my resolution.


Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Happy New Year | 2009

Hey mates,
I just wanna wish you Blessed New year to you and your family. May this year be prosperous year and 身体康健，学月进步。我会回宾城从1月23号至2月2号。我打算回姐姐的家一天。哦呀，我的生日要到了。 我想要一粒手机 Sony Ericsson W910i 应为我的手机坏了。 *sob sob sob*...

好了，我要睡。 晚安。。

Do you know?

• *Ants don't sleep.
• *Owls have eyeballs that are tubular in shape, because of this, they cannot move their eyes.
• *A bird requires more food in proportion to its size than a baby or a cat.
• *The mouse is the most common mammal in the US.
• *A newborn kangaroo is about 1 inch in length.
• *A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.
• *The Canary Islands were not named for a bird called a canary. They were named after a breed of large dogs. The Latin *name was Canariae insulae - "Island of Dogs."
• *There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.
• *A polecat is not a cat. It is a nocturnal European weasel.
• *Tapeworms range in size from about 0.04 inch to more than 50 feet in length
• *A baby bat is called a pup.
• *German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.
• *A female mackerel lays about 500,000 eggs at one time.
• *It takes 35 to 65 minks to produce the average mink coat. The numbers for other types of fur coats are: beaver - 15; fox - 15 to 25; ermine - 150; chinchilla - 60 to 100.
• *The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.
• *The biggest pig in recorded history was Big Boy of Black Mountain, North Carolina, who was weighed at 1,904 pounds in 1939.
• *Cats respond most readily to names that end in an "ee" sound.
• *A cat cannot see directly under its nose. This is why the cat cannot seem to find tidbits on the floor.
• *Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned.
• *Snakes are immune to their own poison.
• *An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
• *Cats have more than one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
• *The biggest member of the cat family is the male lion, which weighs 528 pounds (240 kilograms).
• *Most lipstick contains fish scales.
• *Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
• *Each day in the US, animal shelters are forced to destroy 30,000 dogs and cats.
• *A shrimp's heart is in their head.
• *A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
• *A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
• *The cat lover is an ailurophile, while a cat hater is an ailurophobe.
• *A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.
• *It may take longer than two days for a chick to break out of its shell.
• *Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.
• *Despite man's fear and hatred of the wolf, it has not ever been proved that a non-rabid wolf ever attacked a human.
• *There are more than 100 million dogs and cats in the United States.
• *Americans spend more than 5.4 billion dollars on their pets each year.
• *Cat's urine glows under a black light.
• **The largest cockroach on record is one measured at 3.81 inches in length.
• *I is estimated that a single toad may catch and eat as many as 10,000 insects in the course of a summer.
• *Amphibians eyes come in a variety shapes and sizes. Some even have square or heart-shaped pupils.
• *It would require an average of 18 hummingbirds to weigh in at 1 ounce.
• *Dogs that do not tolerate small children well are the St. Bernard, the Old English sheep dog, the Alaskan malamute, the *bull terrier, and the toy poodle.
• *Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of earth in a day.
• *Howler monkeys are the noisiest land animals. Their calls can be heard over 2 miles away.
• *A quarter of the horses in the US died of a vast virus epidemic in 1872.
• *The fastest bird is the Spine-tailed swift, clocked at speeds of up to 220 miles per hour.
  *There is no single cat called the panther. The name is commonly applied to the leopard, but it is also used to refer to the *puma and the jaguar. A black panther is really a black leopard. A capon is a castrated rooster.
• *The world's largest rodent is the Capybara. An Amazon water hog that looks like a guinea pig, it can weigh more than 100 pounds.
• *The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people.
• **The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are all birds that cannot walk.
• *he poisonous copperhead snake smells like fresh cut cucumbers.
• *A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body.
• *Worker ants may live seven years and the queen may live as long as 15 years.
• *The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of lobsters is blue.
• *Cheetahs make a chirping sound that is much like a bird's chirp or a dog's yelp. The sound is so an intense, it can be *heard a mile away.
• *The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.
• *The bloodhound is the only animal whose evidence is admissible in an American court. 98% of brown bears in the United *States are in Alaska.
• *Before air conditioning was invented, white cotton slipcovers were put on furniture to keep the air cool.
• * The Barbie doll has more than 80 careers.
• *To make one pound of whole milk cheese, 10 pounds of whole milk is needed.
• *99% of pumpkins that are sold for decoration.
• *Every 30 seconds a house fire doubles in size.
• *The month of December is the most popular month for weddings in the Philippines.
• *A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.
• *Carbon monoxide can kill a person in less than 15 minutes.
• *The largest ever hailstone weighed over 1kg and fell in Bangladesh in 1986.
• *Ants can live up to 16 years.
• *In Belgium, there is a museum that is just for strawberries.
• *The sense of smell of an ant is just as good as a dog's.
• *Popped popcorn should be stored in the freezer or refrigerator as this way it can stay crunchy for up to three weeks.
• *Coca-Cola was originally green.
• *The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
• *The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start
  *with.
• *The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
• *TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on
  **one row ! of the keyboard.
• *Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
• **You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
• **It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• **People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart
  **stops for a millisecond.
• **It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
• **The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest
  **tongue twister in the English language.
• **If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a
  **sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
• *Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
  *Spades - King David
  *Clubs - Alexander the Great,
  *Hearts - Charlemagne
  *Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
  
• *111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
• *If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the
  *air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air,
  *the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has
  *all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
• *What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
  *printers all have in common?
  *Ans. - All invented by women.
  *Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
  *crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
  *A snail can sleep for three years.
  *Ans. - HoneY.
  *A All polar bears are left handed.
• *American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each
  *salad served in first-class.
  *
• *Butterflies taste with their feet.
• *Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
• *In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
• *On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
• *Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
• *Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
• *The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
• *The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
• *The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
  *squirt blood 30 feet.
• *Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear
  *by 700 times.
• *The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
• *Most lipstick contains fish scales.
• *Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different