Back..!

hey,
im sorry for been late to post up things. Basically im working then the Idoit Internet connection peace me off..! So,i try to fix my time accordingly which i failed. I will try to post up things soon. I will post more about Mothers day and my KL trip..!

Stay tune ya..!

After leaving KL

Dear me,

I know its kind of long didn’t blog. Many things happen after I came back from KL. I’ve done my Sem4’s exam on end of February. Then im preparing to transfer all my rubbish back to my sister’s house. I collected 4 boxes and 2 bags of my 12 years stay in KL. I found a transporter to carry my things back. All cost about 66 bucks. Oh God, I run out of cash now..

Oh..its gonna be my last of staying in KL. Hehe..not actually last cos I might be coming.. im really miss KL. Folks, do you miss me? Well, some may miss me but some not. I understand. In relationship, there will be a some kind of “Missing”thingy..

When I was in the bus heading to Kulim, I wanted to cry cos its quite heavy for me to leave a busy town. I started to miss Mc Donalds which I can get easily in KL but not in Kulim. I think Kulim abit “ULU”. No cinema, No McD…

Actually its quite nice to stay too cos too relaxing which make me lazy too. Im starting to find work. My first Interview at Genting,FAILED! Well, maybe God want me to work there. I gonna try few works at Penang. If can, I want jobs like designing, doing baby thingy, hotel, or anything that speak less mandarin..hahaha

Arrrgggkkk…why I feel so strange of myself. I’ve lost Esther in me. What happen to Esther who use to be noisy, the who how always jokes, the one who always smile and the one who always friendly? I miss Esther. Esther, please come back. I miss you, really really miss you.

Come back!!!

its Done.

Dear me,

all the pleasure & sweats is all paid in full. Thanks to those who actually encourage me to finish it. Without them,i guess im a failure in my studies. I remember Jacq kinda harsh at me and wants me to finish it. Dont even let me have a peep at Mulan show. hahaha..thanks all.. Now i can really enjoy!!

but not fully enjoy cos my real life going to begin. Going to make choices between working and study. I found out college dy. Its in Han Chiang College at Freeschool Road. Working? still hunting for it. I will try to look for a job at Nuffnang or some internship jobs to get experiences..if not,gonna work as a cashier somewhere in shopping complex.. but im still making decision.

Well,at first when i came down to KL. I start to miss my home. I think too lonely. I wont adapt the new place where i stay. I stayed at Methodist Centre for Women & children's hostel. so,they located my room near busy highways to Genting & Gombak..its was my mistake cos i didnt choose the room properly. Its was very noisy cos the sound of the car banging on the yellow bars. It was sleepless nites but now im use to it.

Thanks to those who make my birthday as a suprise. Love you guys alot..! I know its fun when you played / dress me up.. its was super duper fun. and thanks for all you time. Jacq & Adeline, thanks for accompany me during the weekends. Love you both heaps. Dawn, thanks for the time, your house & your internet. its was lovely being with you. I hope i can spend more time but life its not a road of rosses. but i promise i will drop by to visit you all again.

Well,my time in KL almost up. I going back to Kulim this Wednesday. things has planned up. Next weekend going for undang test. Taking up driving license so that next time i can drive you guys around when you come up. Then my college intake will be on April.. hopefully i can i can transfer to the last 2 semester which cost me rm5k++..if not,gonna pay rm7k+. Im taking loan from PTPTN. then mayb ask extra cos wanna get a DSLR camera. not sure yet but i will try.

Ok folks,wait for my next post. if i post,maybe i will be in Kulim.

here some picture when im in KL.

Life's Journey...

Dear me,

After leaving KL its hard for me but im not belongs to where i use to belongs to. Just like the Lyrics wrote in Chris Daughtry's song HOME. -> I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong.. I found out that i do not belongs here. My heart has set on my homeland. I begins to like my homeland & family. But i still like my KL friends & family too. I will never forget the moment together. Once a while i will be back to visit them.

Ok, i dont know what to write but i will try to update my blog frequently. Cos i just install Streamyx in my house in Kulim..yeah!!!

Stay tune for more..!!

,,,the journey has just began...

Dear me,

I know it tough for me to leave KL but i know i can make a change. It just the matter of heart and actions. As i look back,i have many blessing that God never fails to provide. For example, CARE. who else can i receive? Both my parent just leave. But God always open ROADS for me. He brings people to care and love me.

Well, yesterday(23/1) is my last day of staying in Sunbeams. Its hard for me to leave but this is the best solution to make things cool down. I'm gonna miss those little ones like Eric, Kevin, Grace, Riezla, Katty, Pauline, Jason and etc.. Ofcos not forgetting all the older ones cos we have been the road together, serve together,eat together,sleep together and fellowship together. Im treasuring those time we had. I'm gonna miss it for now.

Im gonna post "on the journey back to Penang" in another post cos this post i want to share my feeling....

I want to Thank God for the opportunity he gave me while im KL. I've learn many things there. I leaned to fellowship with God and people. If i never came to KL,i wouldn't know God. Thank God the change I am now. If i done wrong,im taking it as learning. There is nothing to loose if i try. Just learn from it,and dont repeat it.

I want to Thank those who sms/msg me when i leave:-

+ Jacqueline
+ Ps Rachel
+ Sis. Lily
+ Rachel Raj
+ Emily Indra
+ Christina
+ Peter W
+ Micheal Tan
+ Micheal Lean
+ Mariessa
+ Brendan lee
+ Rima Nadiya
+ Lydia B
+ Rebecca
+ Shannon
+ Joey
+ Nicole Siti
+ Jessica BS
+ Doreen Yeo
+ Jayne Lau
+ Aunty Helen
+ Aunty Dorothy
+ Aunty Fong Jie
+ Aunty Mimi
+ Sis Ruth P
+ some of the Kids...
+ more....

All of them, when they send,i feel like crying. Yesterday i was in Jusco, recieve a sms from PR..i was so touch til cry in the mall. So ashamed..! but i still can control..

I want to thank those who bless me cash. Im gonna use this cash to inves a DSLR cam..then i can be pro like Daniel Tai..hehehe..im over take him dy!!!

Ok, I guess need to stop here. I will posr again...


look for more...! Stay tune!

Tough Decision - pt2

Dear me,

Things are getting tougher and tougher. I believed this is the best solution for both parties. I've been crying none stop since that day. I wish there is a change but it seem the best for me to move on. ESTHER, STAY STRONG!! i will promise i will do the best and I WILL come back. I've forgiven you. Whatever you've said,i take it as a encouragement and advices. I will live on and i will make a change. Im trying to fight this feeling but seem to be fail but i know its a temporary.

Im planing to work in Singapore and im waiting for the result. I hope i can work,Im serious about it. I want to live independent. I want to learn to cope with life. I want to experience life. I want to know how hard life is so that i can tell my children one day.

Im leaving this Friday and wont be coming back. I hope i can come back some day. I believe i can come back..

I want to take this oppocunity to THANK all who have involve in my life. Making my life meaningful. Its a sweet memory for me. Im gonna miss you all heaps. Dont forget,we can contact in Facebook or sms or calls or emails. To the Pastors of Putera Aman Assembly, thanks for accepting me and allowing me to serve. I will post up a dedication once day.

Currently,im in a CRYING mood...



stay tune for more!!!

Tough Decision.

Dear me,

I know i've been a tough time now and i want the best solution. I want to make a different and im making it but no body seem to see it. People say " the truth will set you free". but i dont think so cos i've lost trust to people. How am i gonna gain back? but its too late now. I know i did many wrong things but im changing. Just that you didnt see but little thing happen to me,then you said i never change. You know my passed, and i try my very best to change. You know i steal when i was younger but now i stop. I NEVER have the intense to steal. If i wanna get something, i make i have cash to get if not i will borrow from friends. And im proun to say that i DIDNT owe any of them money. I do save money to get my own things. I try to get as cheap as possible. I get my shirt from the home. I buy jean once a year. most of the things i got from people.

Its ok. I did all the wrong things. If talk about God's business, I never give a damn. Stealing is SIN. leading people to slay is a SIN too. I try not to cover things for people. If you ask me, I say yes. If i dont see, i will say no. I know which site is good and bad cos i went tru once. If you say im a hypocrite. erm..let me see. Let me talk some other time. I promise.

I cant sleep for pass few days but im trying to relax my mind. I cant eat but im trying to eat. I loosing weight but people didnt see it. Its ok,Im fine with it. Its the first time that i can sit on the bed one whole day to think about my pass and my future. Im tying my best to do my decision after CNY. God,help me to make a good decision.


If decision said i must go out,then i accept it. And i promise i will make a different and come back with a success. I will pursue my dream and work it hard. When i come back,i will look different, more feminine, and Fearing God' people. I will help back the home cos its one of my dream. You will never know my dream that kept in my head for a long time. I gonna work it out cos ever time i say things, i never do. For this time,my age is going up and up,im really need to work somethings out for my life. I cant depend on people anymore. I must be Independence.


GOD, please help me to be more mature and focus on You.



to be continue...